Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Never Again

I've reached a point in my life where there is an overabundance of never agains.

I am in the middle of my fourth month of unemployment and I am making my bed up everyday. :D This makes me happy. It's like giving my room a little facelift each morning and starts things off on the right foot.

My first two weeks unemployed, I employed myself by giving my home the attention it deserved.

As I kicked many dustbunnies out of their comfortable abodes I said, "Never again."

As I became a one woman Habitat for Humanity for homeless papers I said, "Never again."

As I got up each morning able to leisurely help my son get ready for school, pack his lunch, and hold him tight in the car right before I dropped him off I said, "Never again."

As I drove home with plenty of time still to get ready to meet at the Kingdom Hall for service I said, "Never again."

As I placed my order for gorgeous business cards and carefully designed a maternity brochure I said, "Never again."

Never again will I allow myself to let my home become anything other than a peaceful and clean haven (for the most part) that my family and I are happy to come home to.

Never again will I allow the accumulation of mail to dominate me to a point that tearing my hair out one strand at a time would be more fun than dealing with it.

Never again will I take for granted this precious time I have with my little man who still wants me to hold him tight and kiss him before I drop him off at school.

Never again will I allow a month to go by where I will only get out in service for the bare minimum of time.

Never again will I let the voice of the self deprecating meanie that resides within me dictate my photography business.

This is not to say that there won't be times my bed doesn't get made. . .or that my nerves are not picked apart by a sleepy first grader whose least desire is to get out of bed. . .or that I won't fall into the pits of despair because I think that I'm no good. . .but NEVER AGAIN will I allow myself to get to the lowest point again in all of those respects. It feels too good to have a semblance of control and I'm too selfish to want that feeling to end.

And now to show that I do have at least a small sense of humor when it comes to myself, I will post a not so flattering picture that Spencer took close up with my wonderful cheapo fisheye lens. I was obviously hard at work at something on my laptop.
This was the day we got my Canon 70-200 2.8 IS USM in from Adorama (which I would post a link to but they don't seem to have it in stock at the moment). I promise I really was thrilled to bits and pieces about the lens. Not so much about having my picture taken.So here's to finding out what makes you miserable and saying, "NEVER AGAIN!"

1 comment:

  1. Great post!! You are beautiful even at your "worst." I love you and I'm happy you are having a "never again" rebirth. We go through life not realizing that it wouldn't take that much to be happy and content but we let this world dictate to us whether we are going to be happy or overwhelmed. We all get into that from time to time. Enjoy your respite!!

    As far as your photography is concerned, you have a gift, so don't let it get swept away by those who try to discourage you, even if it is you, yourself that is doing it to you. Be your own best friend. Other than Jehovah, you are the best friend you have. When all others abandon you, you will still be there for yourself. Love yourself as the rest of us love you and you should be happy forever!! Hugs!