Wednesday, June 25, 2008


So I have been super excited about trying this new detox/cleansing diet for quite a while now. It’s not often that a diet comes around that I can stomach all the ingredients without having to pick out this and that and that…oh and that too in order for it to conform to my picky tastebuds so when I saw the Ultra Simple Diet I was REALLY excited. I stayed up last night making the broth and getting my lunch together and getting the ingredients ready for my b-fast smoothie all with wonderful thoughts in my head.

SOOOOO, ask me how it’s going the first morning. Go ahead, ask me, ask me.

HORRIBLE! So horrible I want to cry from the disappointment. This was supposed to be my boost. Cleanse my body and move on to better care for the poor neglected thing.

How bad could it be you say?? Two cases of involuntary retching so far…

First, the smoothie. All the ingredients looked great…harmless. Little did I know how one tbsp of peanut butter can affect the whole taste of a large smoothie. Did I use fresh blackberries? NO! Can’t taste them, must have forgotten to put them in. So I get to work with only about 1/4 to 1/3 of it gone and I have the brilliant idea to just sike myself up, hold my nose, and CHUG! And that is how the first case of retching occurred.

Second parts of my breakfast consist of the juice of one half of a lemon with hot water and 1 cup of green tea. So, here I was thinking that the less hot water I used with the lemon the better it would taste and faster it would go down. {{dramatic pause}} NEVER…let me repeat this for clarity….NEVER try to drink lemon juice with only about ¼ cup of hot water…that is unless you like the feeling of your body convulsing in involuntary retching.

{{DEEP disappointed sigh}}

So, what am I going to do…especially after going online to this website only to find out that I picked the diet with the lowest ratings? I am going to alter it, that it what I am going to do. I am going to make smoothies that do NOT have peanut butter. I am going to mix the lemon water and green tea and add a little Kroger brand splenda (already an improvement as I am drinking it now) and I am going to forge on because I truly think I can handle the rest of the plan. It’s better than the master cleanse detox plan where you drink a huge glass of salt water in the morning and lemon water or tea throughout the rest of the day with NO food. Can’t handle that one…nope…not even going to try.

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